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Today is my 50th birthday! That’s 18,262 days if I’ve counted leap days correctly. I’ve thought about this milestone A LOT in the past year, mostly with excitement, but also with a tinge of trepidation. Each new decade has brought more wisdom, less f—s, and an increased sense that the only person I need to please is myself — and the best way to do that is to follow my passions.
I’ve never based the main plot of a book on anything from my life — I slip real details into the side stories. The little scenes that may not stick with reader. The small opinions and observations and random conversations — those are often based on my personal experiences. A character hates nuts in baked goods? *waves hand* Hello! (My husband hate that too. A super random thing we agree on.) Has a dad that points at them and says ‘behave’ before they go out with friends? Me again.
I began 2024 hoping I would find my way back to writing and I now have TWO unfinished manuscripts. While I would prefer to have a complete first draft, I’m back on track and believe I’m heading in the right direction. And that direction is forward.
Around my 48th birthday, I got the idea to compete in a triathlon before I turned 50. I talked to a couple friends who regularly compete in them, and we agreed we’d start training together. Then time slipped away, I lost my nerve, and I hoped they didn’t remember that conversation. Cut to the beginning of 2024, aka the beginning of the end of my first half of the century, I got the bug again. But this time the friend I talked to about competing was in my weekly ice skating class (oh yeah, I did that for six months!) so there was no escaping my declaration to attempt a triathlon before my 50th birthday.
As you all know by now, I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions, but this year I kind of sort of have a few. I’m not calling them resolutions because then my weirdo brain will skitter away and any chance I had of succeeding will disappear faster than the eight dozen cutout Christmas cookies I made.
There are a million reasons not to write. Better ways to spend our time that don’t involve fighting with the little voice in our heads, the one who insists you aren’t good enough, that no one wants to read what you have to say. But I’m here to tell you — to give you permission — to tell that voice to shut it.
While I don’t necessarily view myself as brave, I think there are worse things I can do than try to channel that characteristic. Especially when I’m trying new things (that I’m not ready to talk about yet). As I tell new writers, no one else is going to do this for you — you have to believe you can and then you have to do it.
I recently started to journal again, and I’m kicking myself for not doing it sooner. The concept is simple enough—open a notebook or word doc or whatever device you prefer, then write down whatever’s on your mind—but there are a lot of reasons people might avoid journaling.
This year marks ten years since I became a published author, and I have accomplished a lot. But the discipline I once had has slipped. A lot of people tell me I’m prolific, dedicated, and a lot of other nice words. They say I inspire them to reach for their goals. It’s wonderful to hear, believe me, but I feel like a fraud. My writing time is every morning before work, but more often than not, by the time I let the dog out and get my tea and check my email and oh maybe check my social notifications, that turns into 30 minutes. Thirty minutes each day is not enough time to run a business as an author, and it’s definitely not enough time to elevate my career to where I want it to be. To where I almost was a few years ago.
The first step in setting goals is to figure out what you want to accomplish. You probably already have ideas knocking around in your head, so WRITE THEM DOWN. It doesn’t matter if these goals feel too lofty or aspirational or impossible. If it’s what you want, make it a goal. Want to learn to knit? Get it on paper. Got hankering to play the guitar? You know what to do. Need to lose the quaran-fifteen? Set down the Cheezits and add it to the list.